The saddest decision we've had to make...

Today, Brian and I had to make the hardest decision ever. We have to find a new home for our Lucy girl. We got Lucy shortly after we got married in 2007. I had always wanted a boxer so I talked Brian into getting a dog. We found a fabulous breeder not too far from here and found the perfect dog for us. We picked her out of her brothers and sisters from one picture. Honestly, she looked kind of like a guinea pig but she was going to be our guinea pig. :) The breeder updated pictures on her website frequently so that we could see our new puppy growing until she was ready to take home. When we went to pick her up it was love at first sight. Her stubby little docked tail was wiggling so fast. I couldn't bear to make her ride in her kennel on the way home she rode on my lap all the way back to Nevada. Lucy was an ornery pup but so lovable. She never met anyone she didn't like and while on walks with her, people (mainly kids) would ask if would bite and our response was always, "no, but she'll lick you to death." Lucy's favorite place to be (besides snuggled on the couch with us) was on her pillow in front of our front door. She was the neighborhood watchdog. Gentry recently began joining her at her post. Lucy has always gone everywhere with us, only being kenneled a few times. She was and always will be a part of our family. When Lucy was about two, she had an episode where she collapsed in our backyard. We rushed her to the vet and after some tests they determined that she was okay. They said it could be syncope, a condition when oxygen to her brain gets interrupted and she basically passes out. Several times after that she had these episodes and other times she had full on seizures. We never figured out what caused this to happen. Lucy has always been an amazing dog and companion. She loved to be loved. She has always let Gentry play by her, pet her, give her treats and even let him play with her toys without showing any jealousy. A couple of months ago though, she showed a bit of jealousy where she growled and lunged at Gentry. I grabbed her and immediately put her in her kennel. It really scared us and we knew we couldn't take a chance of her hurting Gentry. We really watched her and never left them alone together. Lately, she had been back to her old self of loving him...until last night. I was sitting on the couch and Lucy was on the floor at my feet. Gentry started crawling towards me and out of nowhere, Lucy growled, lunged at him and pinned him down. It was the scariest situation I've been in. She didn't bite him but she very easily could have. Brian and I were immediately upset because we knew something had to be done. If this happend again, she could seriously injure him and leave him scarred for life or because she is so much bigger than him, even kill him. That just isn't a chance we can take with our child. She was scheduled for her vaccinations this morning so we decided we would discuss our options with the vet. After a very sleepless night and lots of tears, the vet said that they would try to find her a new home. Hopefully they can find someone who doesn't have kids that would be willing to take her in and love her. Otherwise, she may have to be put down. For now, she is staying at the vet while they try to find her a new home. I can't imagine someone else getting to love our Lucy dog but I'd rather her be with someone who will love her than be put to sleep. I can't help but feel like it is all my fault. If I wouldn't have wanted a dog so bad, she would have gone to another home where she wouldn't have to be given up. She only shows this jealousy towards me so again I feel like it is all my fault. My stomach hurts, my heart hurts and my head hurts because the tears just won't stop. If anyone of my few blog readers know of anyone who would want to take in our sweet Lucy, please let me know. I can't bear to think about the alternative. Hopefully, we can find Lucy (aka Lucy Lou, Lucy goose, goose, silly goose booger and wiggle butt) a new family. Here are some photos from Lucy's time with us.

The photo that made us pick Lucy.

Sleeping on her mama.

She fell asleep on Brian playing in the front yard.
Always sleeping.

"Reading" a magazine.

Such a sweet face.

Tuckered out yet again.

With her daddy.

Silly girl.

She loved to snuggle.

She loved playing in the leaves in the fall.

She loved our new bedding.

Being a bum on the couch.

Walking around Walton Park.

Such a pretty girl.

Just a couple of days ago...watching the neighborhood with Gentry.